You already know what you’re in for for those who’ve come to “Abigail” to look at a physique rely caper that includes plummy character actor performances from That Guys like Kevin Durand and Dan Stevens. Most of their co-stars sustain in much less engaging roles, together with Melissa Barrera’s thinly drawn anti-heroine crew chief. There’s additionally loads of viscous-looking blood splatter and a few modestly handsome vampire make-up—the fangs, specifically. Some motion scenes are well-choreographed, however typically over-edited and shot simply forward of no matter’s shifting on-screen. The remainder of this 90-minute style train is unfailingly typical, although that’s additionally a giant a part of its ostensible attraction.
I can’t actually get or keep mad at “Abigail” for basically delivering what its advertising guarantees. Positive, the film’s creators, led by co-helmers Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (higher often called “Radio Silence,” administrators of “Prepared or Not” and the 2022 “Scream” reboot), might have delivered extra, regardless that disenchanted viewers can’t precisely declare false promoting. The setup is strictly by the numbers and the characters are all inventory varieties.
A crew of bickering misfits kidnaps the title character (Weir). They comply with her residence with a comically outsized gizmo caught to the underside of her chauffeur’s automotive. Then they create the 12-year-old-looking woman to a secluded mansion, the place they’re reminded of their mission’s stakes. Shady however well-dressed ring-leader Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) offers us and them the rundown: no actual names, no cell telephones, nothing private—it’s 24 hours of baby-sitting a pre-teen who actually likes to plié and step-toe her means via “Swan Lake” rehearsals. Easy is as easy does.
We be taught little or no about everybody, thanks in no small half to a scene the place Lambert nicknames the characters after members of the Rat Pack. Durand’s character, a jolly-but-dim muscle-bro named Peter, tries to seek out the sense in being nicknamed after rats. Later, he will get that it’s a disposable popular culture reference and promptly strikes on.
Peter’s essentially the most sympathetic character in “Abigail,” partly as a result of he’s continually straining in opposition to the boundaries of what his character can know and do. He’s joined by a name sheet of tropes, together with Abigail’s minder, the empathetic and observant Joey (Melissa Barrera); their irritating and wasted driver Dean (the late “Euphoria” star Angus Cloud); and the strong-silent ex-soldier Rickles (William Catlett). Ultimately, the crew has to fret not solely about Abigail, however just a few predictable liabilities, like their bratty and simply bored electronics hacker Sammy (Kathryn Newton) and their foul-mouthed, inexplicably accented ex-cop backup chief Frank (Stevens).